Sooooooo I always have some fad diet or some new workout I’m trying, because conventional things like denying myself cookies (which I’m eating some right now) and just doing basics like walking and jumping jacks don’t seem to cut it with me.
So I tried Pilates last night. Oh, no, not just any Pilates where you lay on the floor and have to hold different painful positions that have you checking your bday date to make sure you actually are not 90 years old because you must be if the gal on the screen can keep her leg in that position…. I call this the cat cleaning itself position, anyway if the gal is holding that position and not only are you NOT able to do it you are also very much obviously doing something else entirely. You cant even fake it…. Not even close.
No. I did the resistance Pilates with the stretchy thing should come with a date on it of expiration because I swear after too many stretches it WILL break and honest to goodness its going to happen when I’m in the worst position ever, with my eye lined up directly with its trajectory.
Have I told you that I am clumsy yet? Oh, well, let me just be sure you realize just how clumsy. Ive literally stepped into not one, two , but THREE items on my floor that COULD be stepped into since having a daughter. Oh well that happens you say. Not at the same time. Foot goes into little tiny wagon, I jump hop and trip into another foot into a box, the one in the wagon leaves the sliding plastic vehicle of death and steps into the play box. Imagine the stupidest stunt on a comedy you have seen? That was me. Only I was dead serious, and probably on my iphone.
My husband tells me all of the time I’m clumsy. Like whenever I’m carrying something fragile he says, “Are you sure about that?”
Anyway I simply cant tell you how stupid it was of an idea to give a clumsy person a stretchy thing and have her pull and wrap and pull it and supposedly try to do it all with a certain amount of grace. I looked like a bear that had just left hibernation and stepped into a trap.